Be the Change
Live By Example
Even with all that I do to try to make this world a better place, I felt inadequate when I read this story today. I have to admit, it made me cry a little……
DETROIT, Dec. 8 /PRNewswire/ — Homeless men from the Mariners Inn shelter and treatment center in downtown Detroit are once again launching an effort to help needy families this holiday season. The homeless men will provide Christmas for four families with money they collect from friends and local businesses or that they earn. Through the Adopt-A-Family program, the men hope to raise $500 for each family to provide clothing, toys, household items, and food. This is the third year that the men of Mariners Inn have provided Christmas for local families in need. Richard Drewery, one of the clients heading up the campaign, stated, “If people had not helped me during my time of need, I don’t know what would have happened. I just want to sort of give back what they gave me.”
“These men may be homeless but they are not hopeless,” says David Sampson, COO for Mariners. They know what it feels like to be ignored, not just at Christmas, but year round because of their circumstances. The men are sons, they are husbands, and they are fathers that have found a way to look beyond their own situation to help somebody else in need. This campaign represents the true spirit of the holiday season.
Please help the men of Mariners Inn achieve their goal. While the men provide Christmas to others in need, they also heal themselves and in doing so gain a sense of self-worth. All donations are tax deductible and may be dropped off during normal business hours. To make a donation or learn more about how you can help, please contact Doreen Webb at 313-962-9446 (ext. 230) or at webbdmi@comcast.net.
Mariners Inn is a non-profit, 24-hour, residential substance abuse facility for homeless men located at 445 Ledyard in Detroit’s historic Cass Corridor. The agency provides free shelter and substance abuse recovery services to men from across the state. Men show up sober at the time of registration and are tested regularly for alcohol and drug use. Our zero tolerance policy helps support the determination these men have made to finally break their addictions. At Mariners, men get the help they need to return to society clean, sober and eager to support their families and community.
Contact: Doreen Webb (313) 962-9446 (ext. 230) webbdmi@comcast.net
Makes you wonder if you are doing enough, huh? Well don’t just sit there, do something about it!
Chick Flick Nite – Sob – 5+ Tissues
I am a sucker for a Meg Ryan Movie
I Love my Tivo, Instant chick Flick! Tonight I watched one of my favorite Chick Flicks, “City of Angels”.
Best Quote:” I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.”
It might be contrived, unoriginal, predictable, and sappy, but I love it, and cry every time I watch it.
Seth, an angel watching over Los Angeles, begins finding his job difficult as he falls in love with Maggie, a beautiful heart surgeon. She becomes interested in Seth, and soon his not-quite-mortal state seems a barrier rather than a gift. A choice must be made between celestial duty and earthly love. Written by Matthew C. Powell {mpowell@clunet.edu}
I had once told a very good friend that “City of Angels” was going to be on TV after work and recommended that she watch it. At the time we were going through a very difficult period together, having a mutual friend and close colleague suddenly pass away. You know what it’s like ladies…. when you need to purge those horribly intense emotions that are toxic and poisoning your body, you need to continue with your grieving but need a different outlet- something to distract you that you can legitimately cry to other than the loss.
We both watched it, her at her home and me at my apartment. She called me immediately as the credits started rolling, SOBBING, saying something along the lines of (paraphrased) “You suck, what kind of friend are you, BAD movie, you sadistic bitch”, SOB SOB SOB then ”Thank you I really needed that”. I love you K if you read this!
Ladies- rent it, tivo it, hell I would buy it if my local DVD store carried a used copy of it. But please don’t make me say “I told you so” or “I warned you”, save it for a day when you feel that ICK inside that needs to come out. And have a whole box of tissues next to you….. 5+ tissues.
Chick Flick Nite – “P.S. I Love You”
Or what I did instead of going to see the Cure at BU tonight.
SOB – 5 Tissues
Make that half a box of tissues. Heart-wrenching, I think I cried through the whole damn movie, (muttering curses and swears at the screen under my breath), I even had to take a few “Pause” breaks to compose myself (Damn, puffy eyes, I am going to look like hell tomorrow).
To all my girlfriends out there who expressed wanting to see this movie, I warn you it is not to be taken lightly. Sure it has comedic moments, a giggle here and snicker there but mostly it is just romantic and sad, and sad and romantic, and sad, did I say sad? Sob, sniff, I need another tissue.
The story goes something like this:
Holly Kennedy is beautiful, smart and married to the love of her life – a passionate, funny, and impetuous Irishman named Gerry. So when Gerry’s life is taken by an illness, it takes the life out of Holly. The only one who can help her is the person who is no longer there. Nobody knows Holly better than Gerry. So it’s a good thing he planned ahead. Before he died, Gerry wrote Holly a series of letters that will guide her, not only through her grief, but in rediscovering herself. In the weeks and months that follow, more letters from Gerry are delivered in surprising ways, each sending her on a new adventure and each signing off in the same way; P.S. I Love You. Holly’s mother and best friends begin to worry that Gerry’s letters are keeping Holly tied to the past, but in fact, each letter is pushing her further into a new future. With Gerry’s words as her guide, Holly embarks on a journey of rediscovery in a story about marriage, friendship and how a love so strong can turn the finality of death into a new beginning for life.
Staring Hilary Swank, Gerard Butler (King Leo of the 300, yummy). Directed by Richard LaGravenese
I recommend the movie solely for cathartic purposes, you know, to clean out all those emotional cobwebs that have been cluttering up and fogging your brain. It’s the kinda movie that you pull out when you need to have a pity-party. I would not recommend it for entertainment purposes only, not a date night movie, although it does have a “happy” ending it is inevitable that it will turn a good evening bad- very, very, very sad.
With all that being said, I was asked by my other half, “Did you like the movie?”. I have to say yes, definitely, yes. I knew the premise of the story going into it and assumed it had potential for tears yet I did not expect it to be so emotionally heavy. (And, no, stop what you are thinking, the hormones are on the up swing this week, not down)
Again like many movies mad these days, this screenplay is based on a book by Cecelia Ahern. (I have not read it) I have though read some lay-critics reviews that imply that the book is better, but my response to them is- well isn’t the book always better? Think about that.
Best line in the movie:
Every morning I still wake up and the first thing I want to do is to see your face.
And, YES, my college buddy and I had tickets to see The Cure in concert tonight…. but the stars were not aligned in our favor to go. Ten months ago when we purchased the tix it seemed like a smashingly fantastic idea, reliving our youth, but alas, last week we realized that we are just too damn old and too distracted by life to not only see a show in Boston on a Monday night, but allow ourselves to enjoy it as we did in our “youth”. Maybe that is why I felt so melancholy tonight, unconsciously I yearn to goth myself out and sing along to Robert Smith crooning “One more time”.
10% Hope is not much :-(
I am glad that I was mentally prepared and got a good chunk of my crying and worry out of the way yesterday evening.
Pathology should be back within 5-7 days. There is a 10% chance that it is not malignant. After pathology is confirmed we will run blood tests, urine samples and full body x-rays. These diagnostics should determine 1 – whether the cancer has metastasized, and 2- whether or not she is even a candidate for surgery.
I am planning on making all the decisions based on Hocus’ Quality of Life, not quantity of life. She is after all a geriatric kitty. Surgery would only be an option if the cancer has not spread and she is not in a high risk category of going under anaesthesia, or the if the tumor breaks through the skin wall and begins to cause concern (I will spare you the icky details about that). Chemotherapy is not even an option. It is my will not to cause Hocus any unnecessary stress or trauma . I keep reminding myself that every decision I make from here on out is for her, not for me.
To date, Hocus has had a full wonderfully spoiled life. I was reading in a chart in the exam room today that she is the equivalent of 82 years old. That is a good long life. I plan on making her remaining days as happy as all her previous days and as comfortable for her as I can. It is unclear at this point how much time we have left together, but from what I have read probably less than a year, likely 5-6 months. If it comes to her being in pain, suffering, not eating, not enjoying her life, then I will make the difficult decisions.
Right now Hocus is not acting sick in any way. I am unsure whether she knows that she is diseased. She seems to be really enjoying the Reiki sessions with me everyday and wants me to have my hands on her all the time (more than usual that is). She is happy, playful, affectionate and my goal is for her to remain that way for as long as she can. She is sleeping right now in the sun next to me out on the deck, absorbing all those good warm healing spring sun rays.
I am OK with this. Yes it is hard, yes it will get harder, and it is sad, but I cannot change what is. Fact -We all die someday. I just feel like I have been challenged a little too much this year in the death department. I have experienced, “suffered”, many losses this past year, some people I knew intimately and some only acquaintances, but all significant in their own way. I count seven total. I know there is a lesson in all this death somewhere, I guess I have not learned it yet because I feel like I keep getting challenged & tested by it. Either that or it might be the fact that I am inching nearly a year towards turning forty. I think I like the “lesson” scenario better.
I want to end with two quotes I found on a a Buddhist blog & website about the Buddhist perspective towards healing from grief and loss. They make sense to me and resonate some beauty for me in this challenging time.
It is best to expect to be up and down and just take each day and each experience as it comes. It is thinking that we should be feeling something other than what we are feeling that makes things so difficult. The thing is to train ourselves to be as simple as we can be – simply feeling sad, simply feeling angry, simply feeling awful or happy for that matter. That way we somehow can honour each experience and from that some inspiration naturally arises …….and we find the inspiration to somehow open up into the moment and live it in a way that feels meaningful and good. Somehow we have the power within us to do that – it is what we are – we are that openness, that awareness and that sensitivity, responsiveness and its feels good somehow. It is how it is and how we want it to be somehow.
I’m reminded of a Buddhist teaching I was given in England, by the 10 year old daughter of one of my classmates, Heather. “How do we hold on to the things we love?” her mother asked. “Like this,” she replied, with her hand outstretched, palm up, fingers open.
This is the epitome of accepting love, the gentle way we hold all that which is precious and delicate.
http://americanbuddhist.blogspot.com/2007/03/buddhism-grief.html
There is still that 10% chance on which I can hope.
